justonezero | The World Overflow

[It's good he's so quick to kiss the words away, because from the sudden look of alarm and guilt, an apology was exactly what was on the way.

...This is what Mithrun warned him about, isn't it? Either he will learn, or he won't. And if he doesn't, he'll just continue to hurt the person he loves most.

It's another one of those silent moments of internal conflict, wrestling with the kneejerk feeling that it really would be so much better, if he faded away too much to hurt or cause hurt, existed just enough to help and only that.

But... Akira wants him here. And beyond that - he wants to be here with Akira. And... if he can't change himself right now, then...

...He worries his lip for a moment before speaking up again:]

...I'm the only one you'll ever love.

[Practice.

The words still don't feel quite right on his tongue, so he'll continue:]

And... you're the one that makes me happiest.

[That comes much, much easier.]

I can definitely do better.

[ if yoshi wasn’t already in his lap, he’d lift him up high - hug the other boy tight to show him deto’s conviction. his arms tighten with the thought ]

For the person who makes me the happiest, too.

[He relaxes in that grip a little, a small smile finding its way back onto his face.]

...Guess we both have more to learn.

[He still feels like he has much more to go than Akira, but... it's heartening, nonetheless, to not be the only one working on it.]

As long as we both try, we’ll reach each other.

[ he matches that smile. what hurt he had felt earlier is soothed by them talking things out. showing vulnerability is always rough; it’s both too easy and hard to do so with yoshi. his pride chafes with it, but he’s willing - always willing for the other boy. any insecurities they have, as long as they keep talking, deto thinks it’ll be alright eventually ]

Together, yeah?

Mm. Together.

[He presses close, nuzzling at Akira's neck. There's still the urge to apologize, for saying the things he does, for being the way he is, but...

He pushes those feelings away, and it comes out instead as:]

...Thank you. For everything.

[For talking and explaining and loving.]

You’re welcome. [ murmured into the fluff of his hair, the words light. he considers thanking yoshi back, but decides the words aren’t as important to yoshi as his actions. and he’s fully willing to keep showing the other boy again and again how lucky he feels, how grateful he is

he could say thanks and he thinks yoshi will only see the tip of the iceberg of his affection, not the mass underneath the water of every overwhelming feeling he carries centered around one boy ]

I’d do a whole lot more just to see you smile. So prepare yourself for life.

It doesn't take that much?

[He smiles all the time! ...Even if these days it's often more reflex than necessarily because anything good is happening.]

You are made to smile, true. My favorite ones seem to be a little rare though?

[ says deto who smiles at yoshi the most and everyone else pretty rarely ]

But when they come out, it feels extra special.

[His confusion is clear on his face.]

Eh- wait, favorite ones?

[What does that even MEAN.]

[ to be clear: ]

I like any expression you make, but… there’s a couple I like best. [ and not just smiles ] You can probably figure out which ones eventually, so I’m not telling.

Eh? Ehhhh?!!

Why not?!

I believe in you.

...

Is one of them when we're having sex...?

[Seems a little obvious, but......]

[ what a question… he goes a little pink ]

You’ve made it during sex, so I guess that’s half right.

Outside of it, too?

[????

Not that he has any idea what he looks like during sex to begin with.]

Of course. Yoshi… why did you bring sex up first…

It seemed like it would probably be right, but if I make the same expression outside of it I'm extra stumped...

[ … ?! what does his boyfriend think of him - ]

I mean, you’re super sexy in bed, but I already had my favorites before, uh, our first time.

I just figured if you had multiples favorites one of them would be... y'know...

… Is that one of your favorites?

I-I mean...

You do look really good when you're intense, so...

[ aaaa he’s glad, but - honestly, just put ‘wrecked by bun’ on his grave ]

I - only for you. Because of you.

[He nods in understanding.]

...I know. It's because when you get to that point, you're... really intensely focused on me. But, um. Different from usual?

Different, huh? It’s - it’s how I always feel, but I guess… I get distracted by how good it is when we’re connected and how much - how receptive you are to being loved, so all of it just comes… flooding out. You’re just easy to love. Like you’re made for it. To me.

[ and then bluntly: ]

We should stop talking about this right now. If we keep it up…

[ he glances down very pointedly at where they're joined still ]

[Like he's made to be loved...?

He knows by now how much Akira loves him, but the thought of being made to be so beloved still brings him pause. Though, to be fair, it's only a very brief one before he leans in close for a soft kiss, a movement that probably doesn't help in the slightest with Akira's current problem.]

...Probably... I can do one more round. If you want...?

[Also being fair, that line of discussion wasn't exclusively an issue for Akira alone, which he can probably feel with their proximity, too.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject