justonezero | Ichigo Catchall

[The memory was definitely a lot, that's for sure.

He just drinks his hot chocolate, looking at nothing in particular.]

It was basically like a game to me. Tracking people down, that is. I just didn't expect the one to die to be someone I knew... I guess?

[How much did he really know Mikado, when Mikado was truly himself?]

Even if people were arrested... even if they died... as long as it was for the greater good, it should have been fine, right?

[But then Mikado - Yoshi was killed. Erased for his uselessness.

Some part of him argues: that should be fine, too. For what is he unless he's useful to humanity? Unless he can devote himself to humanity?

And yet...]

[There's moment where Ichigo is silent, considering that.]

...What really is the 'greater good?'

[It's something he's thought about, in this forced isolation of his. When his life of forced missions became something less, and he had time to think about everything alone.

It's made him turn a little philosophical, really.]

Back then - you weren't like you are now. You've come a long way, and you're questioning what you're doing. What you do from here, right?

I guess what you need to ask yourself, is - do you think it's fine to keep doing what you did?

The greater good is... whatever makes the most people in the world happy. Especially if it could make everyone happy.

[It's impossible. He knows that. But it's how he thinks, anyway.]

...I don't want to keep tracking people down like that. But if I say no, will they even let me?

[That's the part he's unsure on. Because if they used Mikado until he was just something to be disposed of, then...

Why bother listening to the tool if it protests its use?]

...I think something like that is impossible in any world, Nanase.

[He says it as gently as he can, but there is nothing that will make everyone in the world happy, and certainly not everyone.

But he drops it, listening to what else he has to say.]

...That's what we're trying to change about The Foundation, Nanase. They see us as tools - and we want to make it so that they realize we're more than that.

And - I'm sure Red, at least, would listen to you. Maybe even Archer, if you phrased it the right way, but - you're better off with Red.

But - I'm glad. I'm glad that you realize that you don't want to do what they tell you, for the 'greater good.' Not if it comes at a cost to you.

[He looks over, placing his hand on Yoshi's head.]

You're a lot more valuable than just a tool they can use up and throw away.

[But what if we just mind control everyone into h a p p i n e s s.]

..."We?"

[Who's "we?" Is there a group within the Foundation like that...?]

...Mm. I don't know if it's really because of the cost to myself. [He'd like to live a long life of course, but...]

...I want to make people happy. I'd do anything for it! But... tracking people down for the Foundation like that...

That's not the kind of happiness I want to give people.

[Not the joy of ending a life.]

Ichigo Catchall

cw: suicidal ideation

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